I’m still trying to quit smoking - so far so good - but I’ve noticed I’ve have a huge mood change. I’ve been short tempered and angry for almost two weeks straight. Don’t even get me started in my sleep schedule. When I’m not suffering from insomnia, I have very vivid and violent dreams.
For example, I dreamt this morning about ordering food from a fast food joint and losing my shit when people cut the line and when the clerk failed to get my order right. I’ve dreamt about yelling and beating the shit out of men twice my weight and size, and my favourite so far is the dream where I told the company I work for how fucking useless they actually are.
If it isn’t obvious, I’m really tired of my job. I’ve made the attempt to move up several times and I know perfectly well that I’m qualified. I think my department is trying to give me the run around, and I’ve decided to switch departments. I won’t be under them anymore, and I won’t say a goddamn thing until it’s already been done. Yeah, I’ll miss the people I work with, but I won’t miss the petty bullshit.
I’ve just been so angry with everything, and everyone. I’m sure my sleep deprevation isn’t helping.
In other news, my female cat is still improperly eliminating on the floor. I’m so tired of cleaning up messes inbetween 1-3 times a day. My hands are so dry from constantly using cleaner. I’m running out of ideas fast. It’s getting to the point where I want her put on meds and kenneled somewhere for a while. I can’t have people over because my house reeks of it, and it’s just so frustrating.
It sucks when you prefer the violent dreams to real life.